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Whether you’ve just started a new relationship with someone special, or are just simply trying to start a new chapter of your life after ending a relationship, there’s no doubt that relationship baggage tends to come along with us, whether we want it to or not.
It’s normal for past relationship hurts and/or traumas to follow us into the next chapter of our lives. However, allowing this baggage to continually weigh us down and hold us back from being happy isn’t healthy for us, or for our future relationships.
If you’re wanting to finally let go of the weight of your relationship baggage and move forward, follow these tips.
How to Let Go of Your Relationship Baggage
1. Remove the reminders. Relationships come with baggage, both invisible and visible. Take some time to sort through the visible reminders of your relationship, like old pictures or gifts. While a simple step to take, it’s also an effective mindset shift. By physically removing the visible reminders of your relationship, you’re also helping to remove the mental distractions and memories that these reminders trigger.
2. Show your vulnerable side. Talking about your past relationship is usually a much dreaded topic. However, the alternative of never talking about it with your significant other is far worse. Tensions and resentments tend to grow if you don’t open up about it, and your partner is bound to notice. Rather than letting the leftover baggage consume you, have an honest discussion about it. For example, if your ex was someone that routinely stood you up, you may get unnecessarily worked up when your new partner is late or plans unexpectedly fall through. This can bring up past hurts and emotions, which can lead to tension in the relationship. If you find yourself getting to this point, then definitely have a heart-to-heart with your partner. By simply bringing awareness to the issue, you’re already taking active steps to move forward.
3. Forgive so you can heal. It might be easy at first to sweep hurt feelings and resentments under the rug, but eventually they will resurface. Instead of trying to deny what has happened in the past with your ex, let yourself forgive them. While not the easiest step to take when moving forward, it may be one of the most important steps if you truly want to let go your relationship baggage. For more tips on forgiveness and self-healing, check out this article.
4. Make new memories. Once you’ve removed the visible reminders of your relationship baggage, you’ll find it’s easier to make more room for newer, better memories. Focus on new activities and ventures that inspire you and bolster your self-esteem. Then, fill your space with these new memories (pictures, mementos, etc.), to trigger positive feelings and emotions.
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