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Whether it’s earlier on in a relationship when you’re just getting to know someone, or even later when you’re in a committed relationship with that person, at some point or another, you and your partner are bound to experience feelings of jealousy.
Feeling jealous towards someone or something is a natural human tendency. While just a pinch of jealousy in our minds can actually serve as propelling force of motivation, too much jealousy can quickly become all too consuming, and can lead to disastrous consequences between partners.
Feelings of jealousy and resentment towards others and/or their relationships hardly seems like a choice, especially with the ever-present social media that’s always there to remind us of what the perfect relationship with someone should look like. Pictures of happy, perfect couples that are #soblessed fill up our newsfeeds every day, making it easier than ever to long for something different, something better than what we already have.
And yet, there are couples out there that just never seem to experience jealousy. They have a healthy, loving relationship that seems to grow stronger with every passing day. While no couple is perfect, couples that don’t experience jealousy are clearly doing something right in their relationship, and teach us what we can do better in our own.
Whether you’re struggling with jealousy in your own relationship, or looking for ways to combat jealousy in the future should the green monster rear its ugly head, here are a few wise habits you can use to avoid feeling jealous in your relationship.
10 Habits of Healthy Couples That Don’t Get Jealous
1. They maintain a big picture perspective. Couples that avoid getting jealous typically see the world through a big picture lens. They know when to take a step back from the relationship and ask each other, “Does this little thing really matter in the grand scheme of things?”
2. They make the choice to be thankful for what they already have. It’s normal to want and desire things that don’t belong to us, but couples that avoid getting jealous make a habit of practicing gratitude. They don’t lust after what others have, and instead choose to be thankful for what they already have.
3. They trust each other completely. Healthy couples that don’t get jealous don’t feel the pressing urge to check each others’ phones and read each others’ private messages. They realize that trust is the absolute foundation of their relationship, and that insecurities and trust issues can quickly threaten the stability of a relationship.
4. They know how to use social media responsibly. Social media is an unavoidable entity in today’s world, but couples that don’t get jealous know how to use social media responsibly. They don’t over share about their relationship, nor do they compare their individual selves or their relationship as a whole to other people or relationships on social media. They don’t need anyone’s validation or approval of how they’re feeling or what they’re doing.
5. They’re more critical of themselves than of others. When personal growth, self-improvement, and growing stronger as a couple are the goals in a relationship, it becomes easier to avoid feelings of jealousy and resentment towards others. Healthy couples that avoid jealousy don’t look to others to blame for their problems; rather, they look to themselves to see what they can do differently, thus embracing a more positive, productive attitude.
6. They don’t compare themselves to other couples. Whether they see other couples out and about together, or pictures of happy, perfect couples splashed across social media, a healthy couple knows better than to compare their own relationship to others that they see. Comparing ourselves to others is a more than easy habit to fall into, but healthy couples know that doing this will only make them more critical about their own relationship, as well as cause feelings of jealousy.
7. They focus on what matters most. Feelings of jealousy in couples often arise from nit picking over the tiniest of details. Couples that avoid jealousy know that by focusing on what matters most (e.g., each other, their family, their relationship as a whole, etc.), they can effectively avoid unnecessary and unhealthy distractions, such as feelings of resentment or envy.
8. They’re realistic about their relationship. Each partner knows that they cannot expect perfection from each other; a perfect relationship simply doesn’t exist! They both know and accept each other as they are, and they don’t try to change each other into someone else that they’re not.
9. They know they don’t have to prove themselves and their love to one another. Feeling that you have to prove yourself or your love to someone usually arises from feelings of insecurity and jealousy. Couples that don’t get jealous appreciate the love that they have for one another. They don’t expect a spectacular, over-the-top display of love from each other. They simply love one another, and that is enough.
10. They focus on their own goals and aspirations. Couples that are able to avoid getting jealous know how to shift the focus away from what others are doing back to themselves, thus channeling any negative energy into a more healthful, self-aware focus. If even the slightest hint of jealousy enters their minds, they utilize that jealousy to push and motivate them further towards their own goals, instead of using it to fuel a negative, insecure attitude.
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