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While family and friends are undoubtedly one of the best parts of the holidays, they can also be one of the most stressful parts.
It may be that your relatives are nosy about your finances. Or that they’re judgmental about the kind of job you have, or other lifestyle choices you’ve made. For this reason, it’s easy to lose your cool around family, especially during the holidays.
While we can’t actually prevent our family members from asking nosy questions or from making judgmental remarks, we can develop strategies that help us to cope better, and even make the holidays more enjoyable.
This holiday season, use these 6 methods to keep your cool with the fam.
6 Ways to Survive the Holidays with Family
1. You can’t control what your family does, but you can control your response to them. One of the most stressful parts about the holidays is the lack of control we feel, especially when family is involved. While we may not be able to control what our family members say and/or do, we can control how we respond and react to them. In other words, you don’t need to waste your time and energy worrying about what may happen. Instead, focus on keeping yourself grounded, and on what you can control.
2. Use your imagination. Undoubtedly, there will be moments that arise where someone may make a rude or hurtful comment that gets to you. Rather than letting these comments stick to you as if you were a magnet, imagine that you’re wearing a rubber suit, a suit where rude remarks simply bounce off your skin.
3. Focus on the similarities. There’s already a high degree of similarity amongst family members, and yet we tend to hyper focus on our differences when we’re together. For example, you might find your cousin’s humor offensive, or your sibling may make passive aggressive remarks about your lifestyle choices. Instead of waiting for these moments to arise, focus on the common ground and what brings you together. Maybe you and your cousin share a fondness for outdoor sports. Or perhaps your sibling and you enjoy holiday baking. Focus on these similarities, and make them topics of conversation whenever possible.
4. Look for the humor. The holidays are already stressful enough, so why make them even harder? Lighten up and find the humor in the awkward situations.
5. Diffuse, rather than going on the defense. When you feel yourself starting to lose your cool around your family, find a way to diffuse the situation. For example, change the subject rather than engaging with someone if they make an offensive remark. By diffusing the situation like this rather than going on the defense, you can keep the peace while also protecting yourself.
6. Empower yourself with gratitude. While it may not always be intuitive to feel gratitude around family, especially if things get stressful, try shifting your mindset a bit. You would not be who you are or where you are without your family. Realizing this is not only grounding, but also empowering.
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