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We have all had our fair share of difficult people we’ve had to deal with.
People that can never get their work in on time. Colleagues that refuse to collaborate on group projects, or are always late to meetings. A friend that consistently refuses to listen to another point of view. People that selfishly take more than they give. Coworkers that badmouth others and spread gossip like wildfire around the office.
(Read this to learn how to deal with petty, childish behaviors at work).
Difficult people are everywhere, and while it may be tempting to see them as something you “just have to get used to,” there are ways you can effectively deal with difficult personalities, and hey, maybe even be able to work with them successfully.
If you’re looking for techniques that can better equip you to deal with difficult personalities, here are 5 methods you can use.
5 Ways to Deal with Difficult People
1. Show them the behavior you want to see. Humans are wired to reflect the emotions and behaviors they see and interact with, so make sure the behavior you’re exhibiting is one you would want to work with. It’s all too easy to allow yourself to get frustrated and fed up with someone who is uncooperative, but don’t give in to that temptation. Act calmly, be reasonable, and show them respect. People, even the most difficult ones, are far more likely to be receptive to you and your ideas when you continue to show patience and composure.
(Read this to learn about 8 small things leaders do differently).
2. Listen to them. Difficult personalities are often a result of feeling misunderstood or unheard. A person that is difficult may be quick to retaliate simply because they feel that no one cares about what they have to say. The next time you come across a difficult person, be the one that listens to them. You don’t even have to agree with them, just simply listen.
3. Express empathy. People that are difficult often have a hard time connecting with others. And if they already have a well-established reputation for being hard to work with, people are far less likely to try to get to know them, which only further isolates a difficult person. Be the person that doesn’t contribute to that social isolation, and show them empathy. Even if you don’t necessarily agree with them, let them know you understand where they’re coming from, and express empathy for their perspective and point of view.
4. Demonstrate to them how you wanted to be treated. Difficult people are used to walking all over other people because they themselves have been victims of mistreatment. Don’t let them do that with you, and show them how you want to be treated. Identify what you will and will not do for others, and set firm boundaries that are non-negotiable.
5. Replace your anger with sympathy. When all else fails with a difficult person, replace your anger with sympathy. It’s all too easy to allow emotions to escalate when you hit a breaking point with them, but try to express sympathy and compassion towards them instead. More than likely a difficult person is internally struggling, meaning they’re projecting whatever negative feelings they’re experiencing towards whoever is around. Show compassion towards them and their choices. It’s most likely a very lonely, self-isolating life they are living every day.
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