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There’s just something about our exes that leaves us feeling a bit, well, unsettled.
It may be there were several issues that were left unresolved when you ended things, or that you didn’t get the final “closure” you needed that made moving on that much harder.
It could be that you never really let them know how you feel, or explained to them just how much they hurt you.
While you should always strive to forgive others (including even the worst of your exes) for your own self-healing and mental health, the act of forgiveness doesn’t completely appease our need to tell them how we really feel about what happened.
That is something only time can do. Time is our savior in that it can heal the deepest of wounds, and soften even the most painful of memories.
And as we wait for the passage of time, we’re left alone with our thoughts, wondering, thinking of all the things we wish we could tell our exes.
10 Things You Wish Your Ex Knew
1. I’m sorry I relied on you for my own happiness.
First off, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put that much pressure on you. I know now that happiness is something that comes from within, and for that to happen I actually have to like myself. Unfortunately, you were someone that made me hate myself.
2. I appreciate how much you taught me about what I need (and don’t need) in a relationship.
Being with you taught me many valuable lessons about what I need and don’t need in a relationship, and for that I am grateful. For example, I don’t need harsh criticisms from someone to motivate me to improve in the areas I’m weak in. But I do need someone that brings out the best in me, and inspires me to be better than I already am.
3. My only regret is that I didn’t end things sooner.
I actually don’t regret my relationship with you at all, but I do wish I had ended things MUCH sooner. I knew it was over long before you did, but I somehow thought that I could change into who you wanted me to be by hanging on just a little longer. I didn’t know that by doing that, I was actually compromising not only myself, but also you.
4. Ending my relationship with you saved my relationship with myself.
I actually like me better when I’m not with you. I have a healthier relationship with myself now, as well as a healthier self-image. I used to see myself as “damaged goods” when you would point out my many shortcomings and flaws, but I now recognize that many of those qualities are actually some of my greatest strengths. For example, being “overly sensitive” is what makes me such an empathetic person. And being “uptight” about what I will and will not do means I’m committed to my values. Having someone like you disrespect these things about me is how I learned to finally practice self-respect, which ultimately saved the most important relationship I have in my life: the one I have with myself.
5. It wasn’t fair of me to expect you to change.
If there’s one thing I learned from dating you, it’s that you can’t change anyone, no matter how much “potential” you see in them. Yes, I loved you and who you were, but I was also in love with the idea of who you could be, which wasn’t fair to you.
6. Thank you for helping me to realize my worth.
I know I’m worthy of love now, and that I can be loved in spite of my many flaws. Without you, I would have never known that I am actually a very strong person who is capable of much more than you ever realized. And without you, I would have never learned to appreciate qualities like these that you never seemed to notice. Yes, I still have some areas for improvement, but I also know that real, true love sees beyond these faults, and should inspire me to be the best version of myself, rather than agreeing to settle for a lesser, mediocre version of who I am.
7. And for helping me to realize the difference between a boy and a man.
Let’s face it: we were both immature in different ways in our relationship. I saw our relationship as something that we could grow together, and you saw it as something you could grow out of. A boy naively thinks a girl will wait around for him to decide if she’s worth committing to. A man realizes the value of what he’s found, and will do everything he can to keep it in his life.
8. Just because I don’t miss you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy.
No, I actually don’t miss you at all, but that doesn’t mean I’m not big enough to wish you the best. I want you to be happy. I want you to find love. I want you to grow the f*ck up and enjoy life as a responsible adult. I’m just glad I don’t have to waste any more time on you while you try to accomplish all these things.
9. I do, however, miss your parents.
Your mom was so sweet. I actually really liked her, and your dad, as well. I wonder how you turned out like you did with such cool parents like them.
10. I’m better off without you.
When we were together, I never thought I could do better than you. Now that we’re not together, I know I can do better for me. I’m happier, healthier, and stronger than I’ve ever been, but that could never have happened without you being a part of my life. I’ll always be thankful that we had a chapter together, for I could have never known what true love really is without you showing me what it’s not.
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