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When it comes to marriage, conflicts and arguments are completely unavoidable.
While we all wish things could always go smoothly and without a hitch, fighting with your partner is going to happen for as long as you’re with them.
Contrary to popular belief though, fighting is not always bad.
Arguing with your partner can actually be good for the relationship, and even healthy to an extent.
In fact, a new study has revealed that even the happiest of couples argue, but what distinguishes them from other couples, however, is how they argue.
More specifically, happy couples argue with a solution-oriented approach, rather than harping on unsolvable issues or taking approaches that don’t focus on solutions.
The study focused on couples that have been married for a number of years, ranging from 9 to 42 years, and described themselves as being “happily married.” Clearly, they’re doing something right to maintain a long, healthy marriage.
There are a couple theories as to why this style of management conflict is so successful for these happy couples.
For one, when couples focus on solvable problems, this likely builds up each of the partners’ sense of security in the relationship, meaning that they feel more confident in their relationship.
Secondly, it may be that couples that fight more effectively know how to “choose their battles wisely,” thus focusing on only the issues that need attention and need solving.
Whatever the theory is behind this finding, the results are quite telling. If you want a happy, healthy, long-lasting relationship, focus more on the solutions when it comes to problems, and less on the problems themselves.
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