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Growing up, you were probably taught that you should always strive to be selfless and to give more of yourself to others.
While the world would undoubtedly be a better place if we all tried to do more for others, somewhere along the way as we grew up, we began to equate self-care with being selfish, and learned that prioritizing yourself over others is egotistical, and even self-serving.
We’re often told through subtle messaging that we need to push ourselves to our limits, to be endlessly productive, and to forgo our own needs so that others always come first.
What we’re usually not told, however, is that if we continue to put others needs ahead of our own and self-sacrifice, we aren’t just hurting ourselves, but everyone else around us.
It isn’t selfish to put your own needs first. Taking care of ourselves and engaging in self-care and self-love are absolutely critical to building a happy, healthy life for not only ourselves, but also for those we care about most.
Why It’s Ok (And Not Selfish) to Put Yourself First
1. You can’t take care of others if you’re not taking care of you. When you consistently place others’ needs ahead of your own, you won’t be able to fully be yourself around others. Think about it, when you’re hungry, late to work, and exhausted from the day before, more than likely you’re not going to be able to be a good, supportive listener when your friend complains about their latest drama, or when you need to be there for a family member. You have to take care of yourself first and prioritize your own needs, otherwise your relationships will inevitably suffer.
2. Putting your needs first doesn’t equate with putting everyone else’s needs last. There is this common misconception that when you put yourself first, you disregard everyone else and therefore you are selfish, but this is not the case. If you were to put everyone else’s needs first, more than likely you would begin to feel spiteful towards others, which actually would lead to you disregarding others needs (not to mention their feelings).
3. Your energy is contagious. For better or for worse, the people we interact with can feel the vibes we’re giving off. So whether we give off positive or negative energy, you can bet others will feel it. As subtle as this power may be when you’re around others, it’s important to recognize that this energy consistently and profoundly affects our relationships with others. The best thing you can do for others then is not to put them first and think solely of them, but to be your happiest, healthiest self you can possibly be by putting you first.
4. No one is going to save you except you. As much as we may hope that someone is going to physically rescue us when we’re in the depths of despair, it just doesn’t work that way. Ultimately, the only person that can save you when you’re struggling is you. And it works the other way, too. Unfortunately, you can’t save anyone no matter how hard you try, so why would you continue trying to do so by consistently prioritizing others over yourself? You have to be your own rescue team. You have to save yourself.
5. We only drain others when our own needs go unmet. When we as individuals don’t make the time to practice self-care, we will inevitably suffer from less energy, less fulfillment, and less motivation. While you may think that these outcomes affect only you, trust me, they don’t. Not taking care of yourself turns you into a less healthier and less happier version of yourself, which only drains those around us, especially the ones we love most. Take care of yourself, and be a source of light and inspiration to all around you.
6. Doing what we love recharges our batteries. Think about the last time you did something you truly enjoyed. How did you feel? Energetic? Enthusiastic? Happy? When we make the time to do what we truly love doing, we actually give off more positive energy to those around us. Why? Doing what we love recharges us and refreshes our perspective. It even bolsters the quality of how we interact with others. As a result, the people we love and care about the most get to experience us as the best, happiest versions of ourselves.
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