10 Tips for the Anxious Flyer

In this post:

• How I became a nervous flyer
• How to calm your nerves when flying

Please note that this post contains affiliate links.  For more information, see my disclosures here.

How I Became a Nervous Flyer

I used to be a fantastic flyer.  As a child and well into my teens and even early 20s, flying was an adventure. Turbulence never bothered me. Sudden dips were fun. Weird noises were exciting. Drinking soda pop at 35,000 feet felt like a weird luxury.  Flying was the best.

Then something bad happened.

I was living overseas in Australia and traveling back and forth a few times a year, and had gotten somewhat used to the long-haul 16-hour flight from Sydney to the Midwest. It was close to the holidays, and I was traveling back to the USA to see family.

The morning of my flight, my then-boyfriend (now husband) and I had a large, delicious breakfast at our favorite café before he dropped me off at the airport for my flight. As I boarded the flight, I felt slightly queasy, but figured it was just the unease of saying goodbye to my boyfriend (young love, you know).

Then 30 minutes into the flight and well over the Pacific, we flew into a special kind of hell. Food poisoning happened. Damn you, eggs Benedict.

I barfed once, then twice, then three times, then four times, and still I just couldn’t stop. My seat was on the “upper deck” of the jumbo jet, which sounds super luxurious. Trust me, it wasn’t. As if the nonstop barfing, severe nausea, chills, and fever weren’t enough, feeling every pull of the wind currents at the back, upper portion of the plane made everything worse. It was like being violently ill on a merry-go-round that I couldn’t get off of.

And the worst part? There was only one bathroom for about 75 people. I made that bathroom MINE that flight. Word spread fast among the fliers that there was a girl that had Ebola on the flight, and a barf bag donation system was quickly set up.

Then we flew into a tropical storm. As I clung to the toilet, trying to barf into the bowl as the plane shook and the pilot made announcements to take your seat and buckle up, I cried. I selfishly prayed that the plane would crash, or that the grim reaper would show up at my lavatory door and take me away to a different kind of hell.

After 16 hours of nonstop barfing, we finally landed, and a special team of paramedics was waiting just for me, convinced that I was the fourth case of Ebola to be flown to Dallas that year. By that time, I had finally stopped barfing, and it was clear that I didn’t have Ebola.

I survived that awful 16-hour flight that day, but that flight turned me into an anxious flier for life. Luckily, I’ve never had food poisoning since on a plane, but I’ll never forget the fear I felt as the plane dipped and the cabin shook and rattled while I had my head down the lavatory toilet.

Although flying has gotten easier for me in the past couple of years, I still occasionally feel that white-knuckling anxiety. The kind that makes you stop breathing for several moments as you wait for some reassurance that the plane isn’t going to crash.

For anyone else that’s an anxious flyer, I’m sorry. I know the suffering you go through when you board the flight, the nerves you feel that make it impossible to relax, and the immense, liberating relief you feel when the plane finally lands on solid ground again.

Flying can be scary, but there are several things you can do to make it more bearable, and maybe even a little enjoyable. Read on to find out what’s worked best for me in helping me to get over my fear of flying.

How to Calm Your Nerves When Flying

1. Ease pre-flight jitters with an-flight itinerary. There’s nothing worse than feeling that anxiety well before you even board your flight. Rather than building the event up even more in your mind before you fly, diffuse your anxious energy and put it to work by planning out what you’re going to do during the flight. Whether it’s an hour, two-hour, or six-hour long flight, plan out your flight in 15-30 minute increments. Bring your work along and schedule time just for that. Buy a new book and start it the moment you board. Plan to listen to your favorite musical soundtrack for half an hour. Bring along a crossword puzzle to work on. Fill up the flight time with things you enjoy doing, and see it as an opportunity to relax.

2. Pack herbal tea and/or supplements.  While it may be tempting to drink alcohol to relax on your flight, it’s not always a good idea. Doing so can be exceptionally dehydrating on a plane. For a safer, healthier flight anxiety remedy, pack a few calming teas and/or supplements that will help you to relax. Just pack a few tea bags and request hot water when the flight attendant comes by. My go-to’s are:

• Chamomile tea. Chamomile tea has been shown to relax muscles and reduce irritability. It can also help to make you to relax enough to go to sleep. Plus, it’s a great digestive aid-a definite plus for when you’re traveling! Note: you can also buy chamomile supplements if you prefer to not drink tea.
• Peppermint tea. Peppermint is a natural anxiety reliever and muscle relaxant. Plus, it doesn’t have any caffeine so you won’t have to worry about feeling jittery.
• Passion flower tea. You can also buy supplements for this variety, as well. Passion flower is another relaxing tea that has been proven to counteract stress and its effects.

3. Create a happy playlist on your phone. Often the sounds the plane makes as it picks up or slows down speed, reaches cruising altitude, etc. can be alarming, however routine or normal they are. Before traveling, make a special, in-flight playlist of all your favorite, happiest tunes. Musical scores, your favorite soundtracks, the soundtrack for Moana, whatever makes you happiest!

4. Stretch during the flight. When we’re anxious, we tend to stiffen our muscles. Counteract your stress by rolling your ankles, flexing your feet, pointing your toes, stretching your arms in front of you, etc. Or even better, get up and stretch. Bend over and touch your toes, roll your shoulders and your neck, and move around to diffuse your anxious energy.

5. Watch a movie. Take your mind off flying altogether by watching a movie. Download one onto your Ipad, or watch one on your screen if your plane offers in-flight entertainment.

6. Drink plenty of water. Planes are notorious for their drying effects, and the last thing you want to experience is dehydration. Drink plenty of water throughout your flight to stay hydrated.

7. Practice deep breathing. When we become anxious, our breathing becomes shallow, which reduces oxygen flow to the brain. When this happens, our thoughts become erratic and unclear, which can further exacerbate the panic we feel. Take deep breaths and allow more oxygen to enter your brain. You’ll feel instantly calmer as your thoughts become clearer.

8. Reassure yourself with the facts before and during your flight. Before you travel, reassure yourself with the facts about flying. It’s far safer than any other mode of transportation!

9. Talk to a flight attendant. When I had food poisoning on the flight I described earlier, my view of flight attendants changed dramatically. I used to think of them as just expert drink pourers, but the were heaven-sent angels that came to my rescue when I was barfing my brains out. I can remember as I sat in the hallway outside of the bathroom between barfs, one of them came and sat with me on the floor, and gave me a down blanket for the violent chills I was having. I apologized for being such a problem flyer, and she just laughed, saying, “If only you knew the things I see every time I fly. Nothing surprises or scares me anymore. These planes can handle anything.” She went on to share with me some stories about far worse tropical storms they had flown through, and how everything always works out perfectly fine.  Now when I get nervous, I still talk to flight attendants (when they’re not too busy). They always have a story to share or something to say that will make you feel better. Their job is to take care of you, and they’ve been trained to handle every emergency situation.

10. Remember: your fear is all in your mind. Fears are just that: fears. They are not the truth nor do they represent your reality. Your mind often operates on fear as a means of self-protection. We’re all wired to experience fear as a way of surviving. Remind yourself that fear is normal, but you don’t have to let it get the best of you.

Though flying may be a much-dreaded event for you, it doesn’t have to be. It can be a bearable, even enjoyable experience and something to look forward to as you become a more relaxed flyer.

XOXO