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As humans, we’re wired to care about what others think about us.
Humans have a profound need to be accepted by others. Since long ago in ancient tribes, being accepted by a group of people and staying in that group of people was and still is an instinctual behavior that has long been a part of the human culture.
Humans today still crave that social interaction and possess the inherent need to be accepted by others. We’re hardwired to be cohesive with one another, so much that going against cultural norms is seen as taboo and undesirable behavior.
Which is why we tend to care too much about what others think of us.
For a lot of us, we still struggle with that need to “fit in,” to not go against the norms and be different, and to be accepted by others. We often go to extreme lengths to seek approval from others, and we may even fear speaking out and expressing ourselves in fear of being met with opposition and, ultimately, rejection.
The good news? You don’t have to be accepted by everyone. You don’t have to care about what everyone thinks. It’s completely up to you as to how much stock you place in what others think about you.
The bad news? It’s a lot easier said than done to stop worrying about what others think of you.
But what if you could finally let go of that constant worry and concern over what others think of you? Imagine the freedom you would feel if you simply didn’t care about what others thought.
You would probably save yourself a lot of time, stress, and energy if you could stop caring about what others think.
Learning how to not care about what others think is going to take a little effort on your part, but the payoff will be undoubtedly worth it.
Learn how to finally stop caring about what others think, and start living your life the way you want to live it.
10 ways to not care about what anyone thinks
1. Recognize that criticisms and negativity reflect the source from which they arise. When people go out of their way to express dissatisfaction with your life choices and the person you are, more than likely it’s because they are dissatisfied with their own life choices and the person they are. In fact, studies have found that negative perceptions of others correlate with higher levels of narcissism, anti-social behaviors, depression, and even personality disorders. As sad as this is, you’ll never be able to “fix” people like this, no matter what you say or do. People that reflect negativity towards others are most likely leading a very miserable life. So rather than taking their comments and criticisms personally, try to extend compassion towards them and the life they’ve chosen for themselves. Don’t let their words hold you back, no matter how hurtful they may be.
2. Stop compromising yourself, and start being true to who you really are. When you give in to what other people say, you instantly compromise yourself and what you believe in by assigning more value to their beliefs over your own. No one’s opinion about you matters more than your own, and no one can know what is best for you other than you. Embrace yourself and what you believe in. People may disagree with what you do and say, but they’ll respect you for standing up for yourself and being true to who you are.
3. Remind yourself that everyone struggles with insecurities. While it may seem that everyone is out to get you, the fact of the matter is that everyone struggles with their own insecurities. Call it what you will – a rite of passage or just growing up – but everyone at some point has to learn to not care about what others think. And those that continue to deride and criticize you, well, more than likely they’re still struggling with their own insecurities, and their negative vibes are a mere reflection of that.
4. Ask yourself, “Is this how I really want to live my life?” You only get one shot at this life; there are no do-overs. The haters are always going to be there, and while you can’t control them, you can control how you react to them and what they say. Do you really want to go through your life caring about what those haters say and letting them win? Think about the most successful people in history. They got to where they did because they didn’t care about what others thought about them, and they didn’t let the negativity from others hold them back. Don’t let anyone ruin the one life you’re given.
5. Cut out as much negative bullsh*t as possible from your life. Have you ever caught yourself yawning when you see someone else yawn? Or instinctively smiled because someone smiled at you? Humans are social creatures by nature, and we feed off of each other’s emotions. While this can be great when we’re surrounded by positive, optimistic people, it can be immensely damaging when we’re surrounded by negative Debbie Downers. Do yourself the favor, and cut out all the negative bullsh*t in your life. Surround yourself with people that inspire you and those that believe in you. You’ll be surprised by how much easier it is to focus on the positive, rather than the negative.
6. Place stock in just a few people’s opinions, and forget everyone else’s. Who are the people that really care about you as a person, and who look after your best interests? More than likely, you can count them off on one hand. And the rest of the people in your life? Forget their opinions. Everyone will always pass judgment on what you say and do simply because it’s how humans are wired, but that doesn’t mean you should listen to them. Tune them out, and trust those only in your circle. As the saying goes, “Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.”
7. Consider doing a social media detox. While social media can be great for keeping friends connected, it can also be immensely damaging to not only our intimate relationships, but also to how we see ourselves. With social media, we fall into the deadly trap of comparing ourselves to others, lowering our self-worth and self-esteem. In fact, the more you use social media, the more likely you are to experience mental health complications and decreased life satisfaction. With social media, it’s easier than ever to not only compare ourselves to others, but also to assign more value and meaning to what others think of us. Try taking a break from social media. You’ll be surprised by how much easier it is to not care about what others think when you’re no longer bombarded by a newsfeed of others’ opinions and rants.
8. Realize that you’ll never please everyone. You’re never going to please everyone, so it’s pointless to keep trying. After all, what kind of life would you be living if your sole aim was to do what everyone wanted you to do? Give up that battle, and do what you want to do.
9. Put your blinders on. In case you’re wondering what blinders are, they’re those little screens on either side of a horse’s eyes to keep them from getting distracted. In the same way, wear your blinders and stop caring about what others think. Focus on you and your goals alone. Who said you had to pay any attention to what others say about you? Don’t waste your time on those people. They’re mere distractions that you should ignore.
10. Remember: only you can hold yourself back. We will never be able to control what others say and do to us, but the one thing we can control is whether we listen to them and internalize their messages. When you give in to others’ criticisms, or worse, when you start to believe their negative remarks, you immediately and directly block yourself from reaching your potential. It’s not other people that are holding you back; it’s yourself holding you back. You have a choice as to whether you’re going to listen to what others say about you.
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