5 Ways to Stop the Self-Comparison Game

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We all know how unhealthy it is to compare ourselves to others, but yet stopping the self-comparison game once we’ve already started is easier said than done. 

Whether it’s income, grades, job, job title, social media popularity, etc., there are limitless ways in which we can find ways to compare ourselves to others. 

However, the reality is that we’re always going to come up short when we find ways to measure ourselves against others. It’s a one way ticket to being completely and utterly miserable with ourselves and the lives we’re leading. 

Fortunately, there are ways we can combat our tendencies to self-compare, while also shifting the focus to our own lives. Learn how to with these 5 tips. 

5 Ways to Stop the Self-Comparison Game

1. Be selective with who you follow on social media. When you scroll through your newsfeed, what emotions do you feel? Do you feel inspired? Motivated? Or do you actually feel worse about yourself? If the latter, rethink who you follow. When we look at our newsfeeds, we’re not seeing a real, raw snapshot of other people’s lives, but a carefully curated highlight reel that shows a seemingly perfect, glamorous lifestyle. This only worsens our need to self-compare, and hence causes us to feel bad about ourselves. Follow only those that inspire you, and ditch the rest. 

2. Focus on what inspires you. When it comes to finding inspo, you should always look beyond the confines of social media. Consider what really motivates you. Is it music? An uplifting book? Your friends? Expressing your creativity? Poetry? Carve out time daily to focus on these areas of your life that legitimately inspire you. While this is a great tool for distracting yourself from the self-comparison game, it’s also a fantastic way to bolster your self-confidence so you negate the need to self-compare in the first place. 

3. Embrace your strengths. When you think about your unique talents and strengths, what sets you apart? Is it your creativity? Your skills in juggling multiple projects? Your tenacity? If possible, make a list of these qualities. When you feel the urge to compare yourself to others, read through the list and remind yourself of what makes you unique. 

4. Count your blessings. It’s easy to forget about all the things we already have and covet what isn’t ours. This in turn exacerbates our need to compare ourselves to others, and ultimately compromises our self-esteem. Instead of lusting after what others have, show gratitude for what you have. If possible, start a gratitude journal where you can take time daily to show thanks. Though a seemingly small step to take, it’s actually an immensely effective mindset shift. 

5. Water your own grass. When we choose to focus on other people’s lives and what they have, we lose time and energy that could have otherwise been spent investing in ourselves. You’re not going to grow your own green grass by focusing on your neighbor’s yard. You have to focus on your own yard. Shift your focus to watering your own grass. Invest in yourself, and care for your own life instead.