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We’ve all heard that little voice in our minds, the one that’s always telling us that we can’t do it, that we’re destined to fail, or that we’re just not good enough.
That inner dialogue is often our inner critic and, when left unchecked, it can ravage our confidence, our self-esteem, or worse, manifest itself as our reality if we let it.
Fortunately, there are ways we can quiet this inner critic, and even control it. Learn how to quiet your inner critic with these 5 steps.
How to Quiet and Control Your Inner Critic
1. Elevate your awareness of your inner critic. Our inner critic often manifests itself as a passive force. This means that we’re not always completely aware of the constant stream of criticisms that may be feeding our self doubts or fears. Try bringing more awareness to your inner critic by noting what it’s telling you throughout the day. What triggers it? When is it likely to grow louder and disrupt your day? What is it telling you? For example, is it always telling you that you’re destined to fail? If possible, keep notes of your inner critic and grow familiar with its patterns.
2. Distract your inner critic. A very tempting trap to fall into with your inner critic is to let it take charge of your mind. Just one remark from it and it’s all too easy to let that voice run wild and dominate your every decision and action. Instead of letting this happen, distract it. This is especially helpful when a mistake is fresh in your mind and your inner critic is getting you down. When you mess up, fall short of your goal, or just have a bad day, distract your inner critic by taking action. Keep yourself busy, whether it’s working on a new project altogether, organizing your desk, or calling up a friend.
3. Confront your inner critic with evidence. Later when your thoughts are more collected, confront your inner critic with evidence. In what ways is your inner critic wrong? In what ways is it right? Take a rational, realistic approach to your inner critic, and use hard facts to refute it.
4. Consider the worst case scenario. Sometimes we get stuck in a worst case scenario pattern of thinking without really considering what the worst case scenario would be like. Take a few moments to consider your worst case scenario. For example, never getting that promotion you worked so hard for. Is this worst case scenario really as bad as you believe it to be? Would you still have a roof over your head? Food to eat? Friends to lean on? Walk yourself through your worst case scenario. It’s usually not as bad as we think it will be.
5. Replace the criticisms with constructive and accurate feedback. For every negative remark that your inner critic says, counter it with accuracy and be constructive. For example, if your inner critic is telling you that you’ll never reach your goals, counter it with the truth, like “I may not be there yet, but I’m taking active steps to get there, and I’m closer to it today than I was yesterday.”
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