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Being a perfectionist is exhausting.
Seemingly fun, effortless tasks, projects, or even planning a vacation can become daunting when you’re someone that seeks perfection at every level.
As someone that has always struggled with perfectionism, I know the struggles firsthand that come from the incessant, often unbearable need to try harder, to nail every detail, to not fail, and of course, to please everyone.
If you can relate to any of these sentiments, then you know the self-imposed pressures and demands that come with being a perfectionist, and the profound disappointments that almost always accompany these pressures.
As I said earlier, being a perfectionist is exhausting.
Luckily as I’ve gotten older and a little wiser, I’ve found a few, no-fail techniques that help to balance out my need for perfection with appreciating the imperfections in my life.
Here are 4 tips that will hopefully help you to find a better balance in your life, as well.
How to Stop Being a Perfectionist
1. Take a hard, realistic look at your life. Our need to be perfect often arises from our inner critic shouting at us to try harder, to not fail, and to of course, be perfect. Counter your inner critic by taking a hard, realistic look at your life. Is your inner critic being factual? Or is it augmenting your reality? Is the situation as bad as you make it out to be? Will this moment, this task, or this day really matter that much in the grand scheme of things? Distill your thoughts down back to the facts, and reassess what your reality is, and what it’s not.
2. Turn down the pressure. When you’re a perfectionist, even the most effortless of tasks, or the laziest of days seems daunting. We put pressure on ourselves to make a fun weekend the BEST weekend ever, or a mundane task at work to be the most perfectly performed task ever. These self-imposed demands on ourselves are draining, and simply unreasonable. Not to mention, they can compromise our relationships with others when we demand perfection from them, too. So turn down the pressure. Lower the stakes. Life loses its meaning when you’re engrossed in what it “should” be like, rather than what it really is.
3. Count your blessings. Perfectionists (myself included) tend to always be on the move. We chase after new challenges, new experiences, and new dreams, convincing ourselves that it’s up to us to make a perfect life for ourselves, rather than simply appreciating what we already have. Stop for a moment though and look around you. What do you already have? What makes your life fulfilling in this very moment? It could be your relationship with your partner. Your health. Your job that pays the bills. A family that supports you. Or it could be just the roof over your head. Take note of what you have and show gratitude for it.
4. Turn to your routines. Perfectionists tend to build situations up in their minds, which lead to a host of stressful symptoms. Feeling extreme pressure, finding more tasks to tack onto a project, and creating unnecessary anxiety are just some of the symptoms. When you feel yourself augmenting a situation, turn to your routines. Routines offer a means of grounding ourselves, and give us the opportunity to think through situations before we build them up in our minds. Maybe your comfort routine is reading a book. Or maybe it’s decluttering your desk. Or talking to your mom. Whatever your routines are, turn to them when you feel your inner perfectionist kicking in.
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